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Because of taboos, this type of thing can bring up fear and shame, “because people are used to being only certain parts of themselves,” Green says.Let it go.“Sex is a place where we are giving of ourselves in a different way than in regular life,” Green says.It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The text comes by itself, and its meaning shakes the soul ...The two—love and controlling power over the other person—are mutually exclusive. You mustn't let scar tissue form on your wounds; you have to keep ripping them open in order to turn your insides into a marvelous instrument that is capable of anything.“Usually only certain parts are forefront; people tend to stay with a certain polarity.The picture of wellness is actually to have access to a wide range of those parts.” So, then, sex is a chance to play with that polarity.The more you submit, the greater my joy – it’s a very simple equation.”“Okay, and what do I get out of this?”He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.“Me,” he says simply.” ― “Love is giving up control.
“Our psyches are very wise, and know how to create balance,” she says.Sex and love can go together, of course, but they can also run parallel; what happens in the bedroom can stay in the bedroom.If your boyfriend or girlfriend dominates in bed, it doesn’t mean he or she has all of the power in the relationship.” ― “It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.” ― “So you’ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.”“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy, even in your submission.
But facing that fear and moving through it before we worry what our partner is going to do is coming into acceptance of our own parts.