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When asked to name the most common sexual activity in which humans engage, people typically response with the answer of “masturbation.” However, this isn’t true.

We will engage in more sexual fantasizing during our lifetimes than partnered sex and masturbation combined (and then exponentially multiplied).

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Sexual fantasy is the most common human sexual experience, and fantasy plays no small part in masturbation.

If we are to understand the male experience of masturbation, we cannot elide sexual fantasy.

I engage in coaching for men who seek to address issues related to their sexuality.I only coach men 40 years or older because it is in this 'transition' or mid-life time of life when men have a history they can reflect upon and are more often than not ready or willing to explore what is working, what is not working, what they want in their lives to be authentic and true to themselves.I coach men who identify as gay, straight, bi, trans, married, partnered, single, polyamorous. Men have discussed with me their antasies around taboo subjects, kinky sex, homoerotic scenes, beastiality, gang-bangs, cannabilism, etc.In fantasy one can imagine anything one likes, however unrealistic, without experiencing embarrassment or rejection or societal and legal restrictions.Sexual fantasies, therefore, may provide a unique insight into the different scripts that may underlie sexual behavior in men and women.”[i] The same article set out to explore the numerous research possibilities of the topic: [ii]All research on sexual fantasy require self-reporting, usually by asking participants to describe their favorite or recurring fantasies or by presenting them with a checklist of fantasies on which they indicate those that most apply to them.

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