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The Dutch love efficiency and leading someone on can be a waste of everybody’s time.You can find that both Dutch men and women cut out flirting and small-talk in favour of simply stating one’s desire or intentions.Similarly, in the Netherlands compliments are not given nor received easily, and outlandish compliments can be perceived as fake by the Dutch.Relying on the Dutch penchant for modesty and honesty, your compliments should be the same.Forget the sugar-coating – being down-to-earth and direct will earn a lot more points with a Dutch man or Dutch girls. Friends also usually kiss three times on the cheek in greeting; some strangers may kiss when being introduced to someone through a common friend, although a handshake is more common. It is not uncommon to split the bill on the first date – right down to the last cent’s worth of what you ate – regardless of whether your’re dating a Dutch man or woman.While neither Dutch women nor Dutch men are renowned for being touchy on a first date, direct eye contact is the norm so don’t be put off if someone is staring your way. This shouldn’t come as a surprise considering you are in the country that gave name to the phrase ‘going Dutch’ (splitting a bill).While Dutch women might like it when men do this, they do not expect it.
You might find it less common to ‘label’ a relationship or have a talk about the direction of your love affair, even after several months of meeting.It’s unnerving approaching a group of Dutch men or Dutch women to strike up a conversation with someone you have your eye on – but such is the dating scene in the Netherlands.Foreigners sometimes feel isolated by the mass social gatherings when going out, but unless you see another way in, you’ll just have to brave it and charge – and accept the possible public rejection, or possibly even a group first date.The Netherlands has less of a dating culture than other countries, for example the US or UK.There are less ‘rules’ about when to call back, kiss or spend the night, and actions are based more on instinct rather than an unwritten play book.
This has changed the Dutch dating game in some respects as ‘first dates‘ are moving to online dating platforms and social media.